If you've been working hard but seeing very few positive results from your efforts, you may feel like giving up on your life. Whether this is happening in your relationships, career, or personal growth, banging your head up against the wall gets old. Eventually, you start to feel like you should just stop trying at all. If you've gotten to this point in life, things can improve for you. By redefining your purpose, generating motivation, and cultivating a positive outlook, you can start to fall in love with your life again.
1. REDEFINE YOUR PURPOSE
LIVE LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW
However cliche this statement may be, it holds some truth. Living with the idea that your time is limited can motivate you to accomplish your goals and cultivate gratitude for the beauty in life. Adopting this attitude can also give you insight into the things that are important to you.
Ask yourself, "If I only had one year left, what would I want to accomplish?
IDENTIFY YOUR PERSONAL VALUES Develop a personal mission statement that works according to your values. Stating who you are to the world—and to yourself—is one of the first steps to finding inner peace and happiness, which will likely make you want to keep going.
DO YOUR LIFE'S WORK
Ask yourself, “How do I want to be remembered? Am I doing the work I want to be remembered by?” The answer to these questions will probably lead you to knowing what your life's work. Once you know this, you can take the necessary steps to get yourself there, which can ultimately give you a goal and something to work on.
Don't mistake your life's work for work in general. Your job or occupation does not necessarily have to be your life's work. This is the work that allows you to share your talents, strengths, and experiences with others to improve the world around you. For some, parenting may be their life's work. For others, it may be starting a business or encouraging other's to start a business. It really depends on you.
You can discover your life's work by paying attention to the things you are naturally good at, the things you absolutely enjoy doing. What can't you go without doing? Thinking about such activities can help you discover your life's work and give you a reason to go on.
SET REALISTIC GOALS AND MOVE TOWARDS THEM DAILY
Adjust your expectations for life. Putting too much pressure on yourself is a sure way to not only experience failure, but to make you feel bad about yourself. It's OK if you have to scale back on your daily goals; doing so doesn't mean that you won't reach your ultimate goals. You'll just find a more realistic way to get there.
Start by defining smart goals. That is, those that are specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and time-bound.
For instance, you might say “I want to go back into education.” You will need to come up with a way to measure your progress towards this goal, determine if it is attainable and realistic for you, and set a deadline for reaching it.
2. FIND MOTIVATION
LEVERAGE YOUR STRENGTHS
Make your strengths work for you by determining what they are, and then taking advantage of them. Using what you have going for you is an easy way to achieve your goals, and feel more motivated about the future.
For instance, if you know that your ability to talk to anyone is one of your strengths, use it when you are feeling particularly lonely: spark up a conversation with someone at the supermarket or the gym.
VISUALISE YOUR END GOAL
Keep in your mind the picture of the end result. Seeing an image of what you are working on is excellent motivation to keep going. Whenever you want to quit, ask yourself, do you want to feel the thrill of victory or the agony of defeat? Most likely, you'll want to know what it feels like to achieve your goal.
Spend time every day envisioning your goals. Think about where you are, what you are doing, and how you feel now that your goal has been achieved. Envision this with as much detail as possible.
For example, if you are interested in losing weight and gaining more confidence, you would imagine yourself as thinner and healthier. See the foods you eat. Visualise getting sweaty during your workouts. Think about the compliments you'll get from friends and family. Envisioning how you'll feel can help propel you forward and keep you on track.
CELEBRATE THE SMALL WINS
Break major goals down into smaller milestones. Doing so reduces fear, clarifies direction, and increases the probability of early successful outcomes.
Buy yourself something nice when you've worked out for a week in a row, or take yourself to dinner when you are half-way to your goal. Celebrating these victories keeps you motivated and helps you feel good about your achievements.
LOOK AT A PROBLEM IN A NEW WAY
Understand that the solution you had in mind may not be the correct one, but there is always another way to solve the problem. Know that there is always a way out, but it is up to you to find it.
For example, if you want to go back to school, but can't with a full-time job, consider ways you can cut back hours at work or take online classes.
NO EXCUSES
Avoid making excuses like “I'm not in the mood today” or “I need to sort out my love life first.” The reality is that there will never be a perfect time to start working on a goal. Take action now!
Always keep in mind that your time is limited. If you have a dream or goal, don't put it off until tomorrow, because tomorrow may never come.
3. BUILDING A HEALTHY MINDSET
BE ACCOUNTABLE
When you blame others or societal institutions for your problems, you take away your power, making it harder to accomplish your goals. Instead, take responsibility for your actions. Focus on how you can respond to a given situation and the factors that you can control.
While unfairness and difficult people can make life more challenging, they shouldn't leave you powerless. Move on from perceived injustices, and think about how you can overcome or address them.
LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF
Know that comparing yourself to others and thinking negatively about yourself is detrimental and a waste of time and energy. When you start to feel yourself getting down, take time to think of the positives about yourself.
You may want to write them down and pull them back out whenever your thoughts turn negative. Focusing on the positive instead of the negative can help you realise you have something to live for.
For instance, negative talk is that which makes you feel bad or does not serve to improve your situations, like "I'm such a loser." On the other hand, positive self-talk lifts your mood and motivates you, such as "I'm not where I want to be, but I have come a long way. I can do this." Try to put a positive spin on things when you find yourself thinking negatively.
THEN LEARN TO LOVE OTHERS
Approach the world with an attitude of love. Start by practicing self love. Identify your best features and learn to love them. Then, do the same for others.
Love attracts love. If you send love out into the world, you'll likely get love back.
DO SOMETHING FOR YOU
Engage in something that you enjoy on a daily basis. Something as simple as cooking a meal or playing with your dog can provide you with small moments of satisfaction. Taking time out to do something just for you that gives you pleasure can make a huge difference in your mood and mindset about your life.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Make a list of everything in your life that you are thankful for when life starts to get you down. When you focus on what you have to be grateful for, tasks that seem overwhelming can take on a new light. When you take on an attitude of gratitude, you may be surprised with how your life can change for the better.
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