It’s hard to live an intentional life when you always judge yourself by other people’s standards. If you want to live an authentic life, one true to yourself and your values, then here are five strategies that will help you stop comparing yourself to others.
ACKNOWLEDGE THE TRADEOFFS
Start by creating the habit of naming tradeoffs. Try using this statement as a guide:
“He might have ___, but he probably had to give up ___ to have it.”
This isn’t about passing judgement. Instead, it’s about creating awareness. Often we want what someone else has, but we don’t want to make the same sacrifices. Or we genuinely want the same thing, but we gloss over the hard work that’s required to achieve it.
Either way, acknowledging the tradeoffs will often help you gain a new perspective.
WRITE YOUR OWN DEFINITION OF SUCCESS
Another tip that will help you if you’re struggling with comparisons is to get clear about your values and priorities. Don’t assume you know the answer. Instead, get out a pen and paper, and write it all down.
Again, this is helpful because it creates perspective and clarity. When you decide what matters, you’re effectively deciding what doesn’t matter as well.
KNOW YOUR TRIGGERS
So far, the first two suggestions have been about reframing comparisons—how can you look at things from a new angle, so that they have less power over you?
These are powerful tools but sometimes, it’s better to avoid comparisons altogether. After all, we can’t always use logic to combat our feelings.
Pay attention to your feelings and if you feel triggered, make time for rest.
PRACTICE GRATITUDE
Comparing yourself to others isn't always inherently a bad thing. Sometimes, comparisons can lead to inspiration or possibly even healthy competition.
The problem is when you’re coming from a position of lack. You feel like you’re not good enough (or like you don’t have enough) and comparisons validate these feelings. It’s a cycle that can quickly spiral out of control, if you’re not careful.
One way to put a stop to it is to practice gratitude. When you appreciate what you already have, life feels joyful and abundant. We can admire and celebrate with others because we know that we already have more than enough.
DEVELOP YOUR SELF-WORTH
A final strategy that goes hand in hand with gratitude is increasing your self-worth. This is about going the extra mile beyond feeling like you HAVE enough to knowing that you ARE enough.
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